1) Grumpy old man fat cat's can opener was late with his breakfast this morning --> retaliate by chewing up can opener's cashmere sweater (Not quite actiony enough... she's just walking around fast)
2) Cold --> Hot tea, duvet/blanket cocoon. (Was confused by the instructions... a heavy blanket isn't going to have plenty of fabric folds per se...)
3) Bar brawl you say? "Megan? Megan what are you doing? Put that down!" "I...I'm trying to help." "Put that down! What'd I say? Put that shit down! First of all, that's expensive shit right there, and secondly, that's the difference between battery and aggravated assault..."